Ladies and gentlemen,
May I have your attention please,
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair?
Oh, want not you be there,
Well ladies and gentlemen from now on you can wake in a tease,
You may never again have a worry or care I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare,
Gentlemen you are about to see something arose from the dead,
On the top of my head!
Twas Pirelli's miracle elixir,
That's what did the trick sir,
True, sir, true,
Was it quick sir, did it in a tick sir,
Just like an elixir ought to do.
How bout a bottle mister?
Only cost a penny guaranteed,
Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth sir?
You can have my oath sir,
'Tis unique,
Rub a minute stimulate it in it,
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week.
'Pardon me ma'am what's that awful smell?'
'I'ma standing near an open trench'
Try Pirelli's miracle elixir,
Anything will slick sir,
Suits brass curls,
Try Pirelli's when they see how thick sir,
You can have your pick sir round the girls,
Want to buy a bottle missus?
'What is this?'
'What is this?'
'Smells like piss.'
'Smells like - ew'
'--'
'--'
'This is piss. Piss with ink'
Let Pirelli's activate your roots sir.
'Keep it off your boots sir, eats right through.'
Yes get Pirelli's use a bottle of it. Ladies seem to love it.
'Flies do too.'
