Careening Testo

white moving water carries you down to the seathe artery flows to the mouth
such a comfort to know you won't drown
swimming and floating you talk to yourself like a friend
to clear cobwebs out of your head
as the wounds on your skin open wide
you can't help but laugh as you see your left arm float away
your limbs at their will separate
they drift out for miles and dissolve
careening one vast disembodied thought
empty of all need and want
still yet moving with speed
memory threads on as the last thing to go
the life you are leaving now
pulls you below undertow
time don't mean nothing but march of the year '91
in the house that you own on the shore
three children and sand kitchen floor
flourescent and plastic bright orange and sweet baby blue
her flawed beauty beckons to you
the sexual nightmare of two
flame, to the face of a young pristine girl
your daughter one flowery scar
a body to queasy to hold
pain, a pain that you just can't describe
like burning like burning alive
the cinders blow out to the sea
love, this love that just won't leave your mind
and nature has been so unkind
nature and fate intertwined
try to establish a new life alone in the world
but memory won't leave you alone
the awful and sweet both at once
children all moved out you speak now at most once a month

like the fruit from the tree hit the ground
your heartstrings have set in with rot
this paralyzing feeling crosses your body like waves
not religious or hopeless ar all
like knowing alone don't exist
careening one vast disembodied thought
empty of all need and want
still but you're moving with speed
memory threads on as the last thing to go
in the life you are leaving right now
pulls you below undertow