Hotplates, Four Digit Numbers, & The Little Fridge Testo

(Crowd laughs)

That never works out. They don❝t want it to work out❦ they❦ they want it so
it❝s like a Real World episode in your dorm room. (Crowd Laughs) Like I don❝t
understand❦ like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the
beginning of the year❦ that❝s such a joke that test you fill out of the
beginning of the year❦ it❝s like

(in character voice ::student::) Umm I like rock and roll❦ I like staying out
late❦ and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO!

(Crowd Laughs)

(As adult) Okay we❝ve got a perfect roommate for you he❝s an opera major, he❝s
a narcoleptic and he❝s gay so go fight each other❦ we❝ve got four camera angles
❦ that❝ll be perfect welcome to college❦ go screw your self

(as student) HUH yeah that❝s what we say here go ahead.

(Jimmy Normally) Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high
school is coming up he❝s gonna be my room mate it❝s gonna be awesome❦No that is
never awesome it doesn❝t work out❦ No it doesn❝t (Laughter) hate to tell you❦
you will fight each other❦ you will just get❦ you just get ❦ I tell you why one
is they have too much dirt on you❦ your friend from home has too much dirt
they❝ll kill you they❝ll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just
say

❝Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man they❝re your dishes
are you going to clean them or what?❝

(Roommates voice) ❝Yea❦ you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade

(Crowd Laughs) LONG PAUSE

❝Not fair to bring up my crabs.❝