INTRODUCTION
L.A. proved too much for the man.
He couldnât make it,
So heâs leaving the life, heâs come to know.
CHORUS
Heâs leaving, on the midnight train to Georgia.
He said heâs going back to find, a simpler place and time.
And Iâll be with him, on the midnight train to Georgia.
Said I rather live in his world, than live without him in mine.
VERSE ONE
Iâm going back to Georgia for the simple things in life,
Like lining up for potatoes and having Chechens shoot my wife.
I miss her barren plains and her iron fisted rulers,
The drudgery of a day thatâs nothing like Ferris Buellerâs.
So I got the midnight train, it cost me 20 Lari.
Sat with a guy that looked like Felipe Scolari,
Betumi, Sekumi, Tblisi and Katazi,
Killing the boredom with some chronic and some Yahtzee.
As we close on my home town one thought stuck in my mind,
In this lawless autonomous region who would be left of my kind?
Four wives and 17 kids were what I left behind,
So Iâd be quietly pleased if 60% had survived.
But at least one sturdy bitch to keep me satisfied,
In Ajaria a grain-fed piece of behind,
With a strong work ethic is really hard to find.
CHORUS
Heâs leaving, on the midnight train to Georgia.
He said heâs going back to find, a simpler place and time.
And Iâll be with him, on the midnight train to Georgia.
Said I rather live in his world, than live without him in mine.
VERSE TWO
It's the S to the H to the E V A
To the R to the D to the N A D Z E
Shevardnadze! Donât tell him heâs gay,
An iron fisted ruler told the kids not to play like.
Abashidze had something to say.
Fuck you Shevardnadze Iâm not going to stay like
Kinkladze! Heâs Ajariaâs Pele,
A lethal left foot the best Georgian to play since
Derrick Coleman! He went to Georgia Tech,
He had to forge a cheque, he had a really long neck,
So give the man...
Some RESPECT!
CHORUS
Heâs leaving, on the midnight train to Georgia.
He said heâs going back to find, a simpler place and time.
And Iâll be with him, on the midnight train to Georgia.
Said I rather live in his world, than live without him in mine.
VERSE THREE
In a list of famous Georgians it would certainly be odd
To leave out the 2003 World Cup rugby squad.
Slow midfield running with defence resolute,
That kept out a late burst from Christo Bazadenhuit.
With last try odds of 87:1
You could have let the man score and let us have some fun.
Why didnât you you cunts, youâd have lost anyway,
Just let the man score and make the TAB pay.
Useless at rugby and ugly for certain,
Should have stayed behind the mother fucking iron curtain.
KIKI SOLO
VERSE FOUR
My ponderings of Georgians aside,
I need to get back to the task at hand.
Where are my wives? How many Chechens are in my bed?
What has become of my barren icy wasteland?
As I look out the window and see the enormously ambitious
Baku Tblisi Ceyhan oil pipeline,
Pumping oil inexorably to Damascus,
Like this train carries me to the bosom of my sturdy wives.
Cheryl, Marie, Susan and Trebascus
My train goes past Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgistan,
Kazakhstan, Karakalpakstan,
Tajikstan, Afghanastan, and Pakistan,
Not forgetting the wealthy Persian province of Kuzestan,
Where I used to go bear baiting with my dad and Uncle Stan,
On our relaxing family holidays working in the old gulag,
Rolling with my comrades brothers wearing our red do rags.
I used to think I missed the soviet block quite a lot,
It makes you feel alive the constant fear of being shot.
I hate this fucking country why am I on this track?
All we get is oppression and the man on our back!
I wish I was a Kurd or perhaps a Qatari,
Instead Iâm on a train to Georgia with Felipe Scolari.
CHORUS
Heâs leaving, on the midnight train to Georgia.
He said heâs going back to find, a simpler place and time.
And Iâll be with him, on the midnight train to Georgia.
Said I rather live in his world, than live without him in mine.