"A while back, my friends used to tell me how great I looked, and why didn't I have a big beer gut like them. Cuz I used to drink as much or more of anything I wanted to. But little did they know, when I got home I threw up. That's right, I threw up. So one night I got up enough courage and went to a drinking disorders program, and this is what happened that night at the program;" "But I didn't know they'd shock the shit out of me!"