"John applied for a job at Dick's Automotive and Dick came to the door and he said, "Tell me Johnny boy. Can you rotate the tires on a '72 Subaru?" He said, "No." "Well then, can you change the oil in a '76 Pinto?" He said, "No." "Well can you rebuild a holly four-barrelled carburetor on a '69 Camaro with a big 'ol hearse shift rod?" And he said, "Um, no." "Do you have a girlfriend with long, red, curly hair. Creamy, milk-white thighs. Big full lips. Biceps like Henry Rollings? And can she just scream like a hyena in the summer?" And he said, "Yes." And Dick said, "Boy, then you're hired."" "At Dick's Automotive"